reaping the cost of solitude

Sunday, April 23, 2006

please give me what i want [part2]

...and then i sink in one of those comfy chairs. Aaah... relaxation. I draw two breathes when the child comes out of nowhere, running toward me. This time he's bringing an orange toy plastic hammer, and while he's running at his own pace, he's raised the hammer as if prepping to hit me with it. I felt playful, and got ready to feign bullshit.


One hit to the head, and the next thing i know, blood is dripping on the floor. A glance down at my shirt revealed blood gliding along my skin all the way to my toes. BUT NO--- the child was not finished yet. Several more hits came in a blur.

...I am down on the floor now, lying on my own pool of blood. I felt the excruciating pain of the bruises and torn flesh left by the hits.................... and I was enjoying it. I was enjoying myself for some reason..... Confetti started to fall all around me once again, and some strange rays of light touched my skin.

While i was busy delighting myself, i became aware that the child was nowhere to be found--- and i find the toy hammer on my feet. Confused, i just lay there and waited for the confetti to stop falling... and then SILENCE. A voice of a child started to speak---

"You're REALLY a big idiot."

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