reaping the cost of solitude

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Rewind: Want

I once was content and grateful for the gift of vision. I indulged in admiration of whichever was presented before me, though I know not everything is pleasing to the eye. So I'd like to think I hide behind my beloved wall where two holes are conveniently placed for a peeping tom, me, so I could easily veer off into the darkness when I see something I didn't want to see, or see something staring back at me - to avoid the awkwardness.  For a brief period of time, this "control" mechanic was more than enough entertainment. I wasn't that picky, and I relatively led a simple life.

But now I hunger for a more sophisticated distraction. I am, after all, human. So I forced the turning of the page of this bored stillness to a much lively and interesting curiosity. I now stand before a world governed not by sight, but by touch. The touch of curiosity, fascination, and a desire well-thought of. One hand over the flames of an exquisite candle, my Loch Ness monster, I feel it sting. Blisters begin to swell, but no matter how many times I tell myself to quit, I remain gullible - because at the end of the day, I know the reward is worth the risk.

- April 18, 2008

Listening to
"Forrest Gump" - Frank Ocean

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