reaping the cost of solitude

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

My Smile (Maine Mendoza Speaks)

My only real worry now that time has passed and the skyline of any major Philippine city is littered with Aldub billboards is the smile I now see; one inviting both those familiar of my face and those clueless. I have a stabbing fear that these smiles are slowly becoming cosmetic for the purpose of selling a product. But I suppose the subject of money isn't really as ugly as I once thought it was. The truth is, we all need it - and I'll be damned if I don't get paid for the lack of sleep this has brought me since I met him. The day to day real work I'm okay with, but navigating the shit-storm fame produces is on an entirely different level of expertise I'm not qualified for. Fan wars, Twitter wars, Love Team wars, Network wars - I wish I could just majestically wave my hand in front of all the superficial nonsense and all will be well. But no, it's not that easy. Something inside me has to shut these out. I could probably do this several ways, but I've yet to see if I could sustain this new habit without any side effect. I do wish I get to keep my smile. It's one of the few things I hold most dear. I'm starting to worry because I already feel it slipping away.

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